During
In the moment, what to notice
Warmth, presence, and genuine interest tell you more than a perfect résumé ever will.
Be curious before interesting
Ask open questions and listen for the real answer. You don't have to perform; you have to pay attention.
Watch how they treat people
How they speak to the server, the barista, a stranger, tells you more about their character than anything they say about themselves.
Listen to your own body
Do you feel relaxed and engaged, or guarded and on edge? That feeling is real data, not just nerves.
Let attraction grow
No instant fireworks? That's normal. Attraction often shows up on the second or third meeting, once the nerves settle.
Put the phone away
Nothing says “I'd rather be elsewhere” faster. Being fully present is the most attractive thing you can do.
Pro tip — where you sit matters: If you can, sit side by side or at a right angle rather than directly across the table. Facing off across a wide table creates distance and turns the night into interview-style dating, question, answer, next question. Sitting closer and at an angle feels warmer, more natural, and far easier to connect over.
